Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

10 Sep
I have always been someone who gets along well with other females. Because I do, I’ve never understood why so many women feel so threatened by their own gender. Over and over again I have heard the saying, "I don’t get along with females" or "I don’t usually have female friends." When I ask the question why, the excuses range from girls don’t like me because I am pretty (Seriously?) to I just feel like I can’t trust other women (But you can trust men?). I know that these are honest responses, but does anyone else see the problem with this?

I am a woman. If I don’t like or get along with other women, it’s like me not liking or getting along with myself. To me, it almost seems as if women who don’t like other women really have an issue with themselves. Maybe I’m wrong; but possibly I’m right…

I used to work as a mental health counselor with adolescents. One thing that I noticed was anytime I worked with a teenage girl who claimed not to like or hang out with other girls, most times that client was promiscuous, had self-esteem and identity issues, and was very insecure. Often they surrounded themselves with boys because they internally believed every other girl thought like them, and therefore was a threat to them. Hanging around guys boosted their self-esteem and protected them from being vulnerable to people similar to themselves.

Now, I am in no way generalizing all women or even the majority of us, but like Rodney King, I just want to know, "Why can’t we all just get along?" Why can’t we give another woman a compliment and mean it? Why can’t we be happy when another woman achieves something positive? Why can’t we see the good intentions of another woman and respond to her with sisterly love? Why do we have to be such haters toward our own?

Can you do me a favor? If you are a woman who doesn’t like or trust most other women, take a little time today or this weekend and do some soul searching. Ask yourself, "Why?" Why don’t I trust women? Why do I have such a difficult time being vulnerable with my own gender? Why do I feel threatened every time another girl walks into the room? Why do I turn my nose up at females or expect the worst of them? If some female hurt me or betrayed me in my past, does that really reflect the behavior of all women? Men have hurt me; why do I continue to trust men, but refuse to forgive when it comes to women? Why?

Let me make a simple, yet true statement: Women are not the enemy; females are not your enemy. Surprise! Every woman you meet is not out to take your spot, steal your man, rob you of what’s yours. Some women want to support you. Some women want to teach you something new. Some women will be there when that man is no longer around. Some women will encourage you and push you to be your very best.

Like I said in yesterday’s blog – you attract what you are. If you are untrustworthy, sneaky, vindictive, insecure, petty, catty, or loose, that is more than likely the types of females who will surround you. Once again, work on you and as you change, so will the company you keep. And one day, when you see me in the street, you will smile authentically, wave, or maybe…just maybe even give me a hug. Maybe… 


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