The Trouble With Plan B

18 Nov

Many of us grew up hearing people talk about their “Plan B” or the course they would take if their first endeavor (Plan A) did not work out as planned. Because of this, we have taken on a similar mentality, always have a Plan B, and sometimes a Plan C, D, and E! We cringe at the thought of getting involved in something without having something else to fall back on and criticize those without Plan B’s as “putting all of their eggs in on basket,” certain they will devastated if and when things don’t go their way.

A couple of weeks ago, I watched the movie “The Back-up Plan” starring Jennifer Lopez. The movie is about a woman who is single and struggling with finding a mate, but really wants to have a baby. In desperation, she decides to get artificially inseminated from an unknown sperm donor, but in a twist of fate, after leaving the doctor’s office following the procedure,  she meets a man and they fall in love. Of course, she finds out soon after that the insemination was successful and she is now pregnant with twins by an unknown father while the man of her dreams is right in front of her face. It’s a romantic comedy so there has to be a fun and happy ending, but we all know that in real life, the ending would probably not be a happy one. I mean honestly, how many men would enter a serious relationship with a woman who is a the beginning stages of pregnancy with twins and he is not the father?

As the movie progressed, a thought entered my mind: This is the trouble with Plan B. Not that there is anything wrong with having options, but sometimes we get so impatient that we rush off to do Plan B when Plan A would have worked out if we would have just waited a little longer or worked a little harder.

Realize this, Plan A is what you really want, it is the ideal situation. Plan B is merely an escape route, a place of safety, something to soothe the insecurities and fears. When we give up on Plan A to pursue Plan B, we are basically deciding that we are willing to accept less than our true hopes, dreams, and desires. We are settling for less, taking what we can get, embracing the “something is better than nothing mentality.” These choices are made out of desperation and often lead to undesirable consequences.

Alternatively, there are those of us working on Plan B who have completely skipped over Plan A. Due to fear of the unknown, we don’t even attempt to follow our true desires, but instead immediately go along with a lesser option. Living in Plan B without first trying Plan A can lead to resentment, regret, misery, and hopelessness.

The key to living a Plan A life is perseverance. The things we do not achieve is often a result of giving up too quickly. When times are hard, development is slow, the future is cloudy, our footing is unsure, we play with the idea of surrender and counting our losses. Soon, the idea becomes our reality and Plan A is out the door. We see this in our marriages, children, careers, communities, relationships, education, etc. Instant gratification overcomes goals and commitments and Plan B looks good because it seems to be the easier road. But looks can be deceiving…

Today, I challenge you to review your life for the Plan A and B’s. What type of life are you living? If it is a Plan A life, keep pressing. You never know; your breakthrough could be just around the next corner. I remember once hearing a preacher talk about his hike up a mountain. After a long period of walking he had not made it to the top and was going to turn around when someone on their way down told him that the top was only about 15 minutes further. Sometimes our dreams are only 15 minutes, 15 days, 15 months away, if we would just hang in there a little longer. However, if you are living a Plan B life, be honest with yourself about if this is the life you really want to live. Do you want to die knowing that out of desperation you settled for so much less than you could have achieved? If you want more, it’s time to make a switch back to Plan A living and a mind transformation that although it may tarry…I will wait on it…

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4 Responses to “The Trouble With Plan B”

  1. abigail-madison chase November 18, 2010 at 10:08 am #

    As always I am the voice of discontent(LOL). I think people often sit around waiting on Plan A to work and by the time they realize it ain’t gonna happen life has passed them by and it is really to late for Plan B to ever work.

  2. drawilson November 18, 2010 at 10:21 am #

    I wouldn’t expect anything less, Abby! LOL
    I think you said the right words “sitting around waiting on Plan A to work.” Plan A isn’t going to just work, you have to work it and work it some more. Nothing valuable just falls into our laps, we have to usher it in. People want to get a college education but never register or get to class and put in only half the effort. People want a successful business, but they are not willing to learn the things needed to get there or put themselves out there and market their business as needed. People want marriage, but once they get in a relationship they spend the entire time self-sabotaging it, refusing to trust, and running out the door at the first sign of hardships. Any time I have initiated a Plan A, it may not have happened easily or instantly, but if I remained true to my hearts desires, eventually it all worked out for my good. I am not speaking of doing the same thing and expecting a different result, I am talking about remaining true to the vision, even if some adjustments have to be made, you just don’t throw the baby out with the bath water…

  3. Ayondela November 18, 2010 at 12:09 pm #

    Ever since I had my daughter I accepted as so many of us do that my goals, dreams, and desires should take a back seat to motherhood. Not one to accept the status quo, I resisted this as much as possible but motherhood (single motherhood) through a curve ball at me and I began to feel myself slip away. My plan A is develop a production with a mission of developing films and t.v. projects focising on women’s lives. I went back to school to learn more about the business side of the production but when I became pregnant I let that go. I do not want to teach my daughter that motherhood is the “plan B” because I do not believe that at all. My plan A has changed and grown as I have changed and grown but nonetheless it is what it has always been an extension of my soul’s desire to be at peace with my life and to use my gifts as a conduit to help others achieve peace as well. I do this through creating and developing art or helping others create and develop art….as always you bring to light what is often hidden in plain sight…thanks…

    • drawilson November 18, 2010 at 1:26 pm #

      Thanks Ayondela for your honesty and feedback. There are a lot of things in life that cause us to shift and adjust our plans, but that does not mean that we have to completely deny ourselves or forget we ever had them. There are countless single mothers who still earn college degrees, run corporations, become entertainers, or choose to remain at home. The single mother route may mean a time delay or slower progress for some, but it doesn’t have to equate to Plan A dismissal. If what is in your heart drives you, try to figure out alternative ways to make it happen over time. Like I always say, obstacles were never mean to stop you, they were just put there to teach you how to find another way.

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